Dear Christina and Chris,
I totally understand how you feel. This semester is NOT going well at all for me (and for you) and I'm half dying already.
Yesterday, I calculated my money in my bank account and it's looking very bad. In other words, I'm dead broke. I have yet to pay off my April rent (US$474); I have not looked into housing yet for Spring, Summer, this year's Fall or Winter (yes I know I better hurry up but I'm just so swamped now I don't have any time to go house hunting!) and I'm still trying to save up for the deposits (which in total for Spring and Fall deposit will cost abt US$300). Not to mention books for my Spring classes, food and other misc stuff, like Wedding gifts. Man, I've never spent so much money on wedding and bridal shower gifts before in my life. Weddings are special and wonderful times but I do hope that people understand when I don't buy them expensive gifts. Or expansive birthday gifts. And banish the idea of telling to pay tithing becasue I AM. But you know, the Lord works in mysterious ways and sometimes He makes us wait, which I hate because my rent and deposits are due soon and I'm woried about it all.
My classes are just killing me. I'm taking statistics and math together- bad idea. Both of you, don't ever register for these classes in the same semester. Learn from my mistake. It's not that it's hard to understand these classes but the homework is strangling the breathe out of me. I had to plot at least 5 scatterplots for my last stats homework exercise and scatterplots really test your eyesight and estimation skills. Drawing them (even with the help of the software) is making me even more blind and I'm blind enough already. Aargh!
I just took a biology test and I did BADLY in it. And I really mean badly, as in nowhere near A- even. How am I going to get a scholarship?
And if my day (and semester) hasn't gone bad enough, it started snowing again. Whoopee. Just when I was ready to wash and keep my winter coats and welcome the warmer Spring and Summer, Winter springs a nasty surprise and starts pouring her flakes again. It snowed a few inches today and then it was the wind's turn to blow when it stopped snowing. But that wasn't the worse part. Oh no. The worse part was my surprise walking to class after work to see it snowing (heavily furthermore), with me wearing nothing but my blouse, one thin cardigan and ONE SWEATER WITH TINY HOLES. I was FREEZING when I walked home.
Chris, I hope you will be able to make more friends there as you hope. I have wonderful friends here but sometimes, the size of BYU just "gets to me". BYU is so huge and there is just too many people. I really can't wait for the Spring and Summer terms to get here so that most of everyone would leave and the school would be back to it's quiet holiday self again. There are lesser classes and the classes just cram in the Spring and Summer but at least there's not so many people and I don't feel so suffocated.
I've been pretty miserable this semester. And tired. Not always but definitely a lot more than last semester. I really wish I didn't have to be so uptight and "nerdy" about my studies. Sometimes, I wish I could I could just take things easy and score "Bs" and think- that's alright, try again! That's BYU's motto but I really can't even afford a single "B" because I REALLY NEED THE SCHOLARSHIP, and I need to work so many hours each week because I'm literally on my own now. My parents need to worry about Abish now and told me that they can't help me anymore. Plus, I have a mission they have to save up for as well. Add to the fact that I'm perpetually homesick, and my life is a total uptight mess. I wouldn't trade my experience here for anything in the world but I wish circumstances were a bit different.
Chris and Clarissa, if you ever need anyone to talk to, call me!!! And don't scrimp on phone cards. Call me (to tell me to call you) and I'll try to buy another (yup, mine has also zero cents left) to call you. I need to buy one anyway to call my parents soon and cry to them about my horrible semester.
Meanwhile, I love Clarissa and Christina! And I love everyone who reads this blog!
Love,
Keesh
posted by Funkee Ego @ 7:33 PM
2 Comments:
ne ne ne... haiz. wat can i say. u and me both in the same predicament. sucks la. i realli realli dun like school for this sem. im waiting for summer. just like u. where there are much lesser pple and i can take it easy. and as for biology. my dear. it was onli a test. u still have half a semester left to work ur butt off for a good grade. im hopeless with the scholarship le. there is no way i can get. cos there are way way smarter pple here. like superly smart. i mean its great to be able to get a scholarship. but not gg to work. im striving for straight As. but in cases such as american govt and now psych. its not gg to clear. im doing badly for psych. and its driving. everything is crazy la. i just looked at my calender of events. and my three psych test closes next fri. and i havent taken any and havent started studying. which=DEADMEAT! so yea. i understand how u feel and u understand how me feel. so same boat. we shall strive to keep the boat afloat or not we just sink together lo. hee. ok im crazy la. dun listen to me. u can do much better than me. so u work hard but at the same time pls dun stress urself alrite. as for phone cards, haha. not on my list yet. not gg to buy any unless i realli need it. i shall just drop u emails or just leave comments ok? its cheaper this way dun u tink? if i really need to talk to ya or hear ur voice (or if u need to hear a sporean voice) then i call ok? as of now. like tat enuff le. haha. and u also drop by my blog and comment la. haha. my blog is dying. no one comments lo. sad sia. i tink like alot of pple dunno where to comment. japanese la. all the blur sotongs. haha. ohwells. i gtg. need to get back to my stupid first essay dued tml. draft la. but its driving me nuts! i love ya!
hang in there! NUS is horrid sometimes too (but at least i dont have to worry abt rent like u *sigh) stay uplifted and faithful! i love u (from a VERY VERY HOT singapore millions of miles away)
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